Being a teenager is a confusing time, and sometimes they are not sure if you, as their parent are willing to assist.
When they ask for help, listen to their questions, don’t jump to conclusions, and know that they may take some time to accept help.
In addition, you can take the initiative, working together to empower their sense of belonging, or allowing them to do something on their own, making them go through the process of becoming independent.
Lastly, focus on how they are growing, not just their performance, this will tell them how they are doing as a person.
Teens don’t always come to us wanting advice, but when they ask any of the following questions, you should stop what you’re doing and listen to your teen.
1. Can We Talk?
When teens ask to talk to you, they need you to be supportive, encouraging, and to provide help and support.
Make eye contact, pay attention, and ask questions.
Everything else can wait. If they come to you, then you should realize that it’s very important to them that you listen.
2. Can You Show Me How To..?
This question offers one of the greatest learning and bonding opportunities that you’ll get with your teen.
They may want to learn how to do fix something in their room, search up something on the internet, or even want to learn how to drive.
You should definitely make time to be the one to not only show them how to do this but also enjoy the opportunity to connect with them.
3. Do You Think I Can Do This?
Our children need to have the confidence to want to try new things and believe that they can do things on their own.
It’s always great to coach them first and then allowing them to make decisions and do things on their own.
Teens are no longer little kids that need us to do everything for them. We need to help them prepare for adulthood.
Giving them opportunities and confidence to try things on their own will help them be successful.
4. What Do People Think Of Me?
Your teenager is going through so many changes, and they’re constantly comparing themselves to other children around them.
They won’t directly ask you what you or others think of them, but they will be thinking it all the time.
They need to hear from you that you love them and that you like them as a person.
Complimenting them on their successes isn’t enough, as then they won’t feel good about themselves if they’re not ‘the best’ in their eyes.
Rather refer to their character traits that you love. They might be hardworking, kind, or just a fun person to be around.
5. Can I Ask Your Advice?
Always listen first before giving advice. Sometimes it’s hard not to jump in and want to solve things for our children.
This question is more about discussing a certain situation and asking them what they think. What do they think they could do to solve a problem? How would they like someone else to respond?
Talking through ideas and possible outcomes is much better than purely telling them what you would do.
It’s a wonderful learning opportunity for them to think about possible solutions and discuss them with someone they trust.
- Listen to what their questions are and help them. If they don’t ask for it, ask them if they want your advice before you give it.
- When teens ask if they can talk to you, it’s because it’s extremely important to them, and they need your advice.
- Saying yes to giving your teens opportunities to do things on their own is a great way to prepare them for adulthood.
This could be a home project, changing a tire, or even work stuff. Simply ask, “Hey, would you want to learn how to (fill in the blank)?” Teens love being included on “adult” stuff. It prepares them and makes them feel seen and empowered.allprodad.com