Long-distance relationships have many challenges. When you live far apart, dating gets complicated as it limits physical connection, which is key to a healthy relationship.
Romantic relationships thrive when two people invest their time and dedication into them. You need to spend most of this time together, not every waking hour but a significant amount. The time spent together can be affected if you are far apart.
This article highlights the challenges people face in long-distance relationships and how to navigate them.
3 Harsh Facts Long-Distance Relationships
Harsh Fact #1: Logistical Nightmare
Bridging the distance between you and your significant other has got to be one of the hardest things in a long-distance relationship.
Even though technology helps by providing platforms where you can communicate with each other in real-time, the urge to be together in person supersedes it.
Planning when and where to see each other physically can become a logistical nightmare, especially if you both lead busy lives.
Sometimes, you and your partner are separated by thousands of miles, so seeing each other frequently becomes a challenge. When you have no other option but to fly to your partner if they live in another country or state, the travel expenses increase even more.
Besides your relationship, you may have other things going on in your life, school, or work. Your schedules might sometimes not be in sync, making it even harder to plan an ideal travel time to visit each other.
Even if you can easily travel to where your partner is, sometimes life’s obligations make it harder for you to spend quality time together once there.
Harsh Fact #2: Emotional Disconnection
Everybody needs to feel connected to people, especially when in a romantic relationship with a person. Long-distance couples miss each other. It is one of the hardest-hitting realities of being far away from someone you love.
You can sometimes get sad and lonely, even when surrounded by loving family and friends. The distance makes it hard to understand these feelings through messages, calls, or even facial expressions on video calls.
It might be hard for you to feel connected to someone you are separated from for long periods of time and who is miles away. The fact that you can not spend time together further fuels the emotional disconnection.
When you start a relationship with someone, you initially become one emotionally before transitioning to a physical connection. Distance puts a strain on the emotional connection you build with your partner. To connect with an individual at an emotional level, the time you spend together physically plays a significant role.
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Harsh Fact #3: Lack of Physical Contact
When you get into a relationship with someone, you also get to a point where you physically connect at an intimate level.
Long-distance couples are not able to spend time together. It results in a lack of physical intimacy, which is important in strengthening the relationship. Even if not spending time on a physical level intimately, getting to feel your partner physically through hugs, holding hands, and cuddles bring you comfort.
People have different attachment styles. If you are the type of person with an anxious attachment style, you need to be in the same space and physically feel your partner.
After a hard day at work or school or when life becomes overwhelming, you need a loving shoulder to lean on and decompress. A relationship provides a safe space where you can let go of your feelings and emotions without thinking you are an inconvenience.
A lack of physical connection in long-distance relationships can therefore have a negative impact on whether your needs are met.
Extra Fact: Pressure To Keep It Exciting
When you do see your partner, you want to make it super special and fit in everything that you couldn’t do while you were apart. This might lead to an unrealistic view of your relationship and can also be really exhausting.
Doing simple things together and keeping it real might be difficult when you feel the time pressure of being apart. It’s often the little things that you only notice when you spend a lot of time together that make you feel like you know them and deepens your connection.
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What Kills Long-Distance Relationships?
Long-distance relationships are complicated, and a lot of factors can kill them. Normal relationships are hard to maintain and sustain; when distance comes into play in a relationship, the challenges become harder to navigate.
Communication
One of the factors that can kill a long-distance relationship is a lack of communication or ineffective communication. If there is a timezone difference between you two, communication can become a problem. With proper time management, you can figure out time slots that work for both of you.
Share your schedules and communicate any plans or commitments that might affect the time you need to talk to each other. The happiest couples find ways to spend quality time together despite their busy schedules.
Even though healthy communication between partners is essential in all types of relationships, it can become ineffective if not done correctly. You might miss nonverbal cues or miss cues from their body language when talking on the phone.
Because you are separated by distance, you don’t have to spend countless hours on a call; you only need to commit to communicating at least daily, even if not for too long.
Misunderstandings are bound to arise due to poor communication. Communicate clearly to each other and be honest and open about your anxious feelings. Let your partner know your fears and how you are feeling emotionally.
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Lack of Intimacy
Some people struggle with a lack of intimacy and need to have a physical connection with people. Their love language might be physical touch, so if this is not met regularly, several challenges to the relationship can arise.
Lack of Trust
Lack of trust has a negative impact on a long-distance relationship. If one of you is insecure, jealous, or dishonest in your relationship, it raises the question of whether the relationship is worth having. The fact that you are not with your partner and can’t see them all the time might make you wonder who is in their social circles.
With mutual respect for each other, you can manage trust issues. It would be difficult for either of you to cheat on each other if you respect each other and the relationship you are working on. Cheating of any kind, even in regular relationships, is a deal breaker.
Trusting each other strengthens your bond and makes your relationship work despite the distance. Always strive to tell each other the truth. The success of a long-distance relationship is dependent on honesty and trust.
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Not Putting In The Work
A lack of willingness and emotional capacity to keep working on the relationship might kill a long-distance relationship. You both need to have an unwavering desire to see the relationship succeed: you and your significant other must put in the effort equally.
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Impatience
When the long-distance aspect happens to your relationship, a certain level of patience and understanding is required. If both of you lose patience and stop believing in making the relationship work, it will have to end eventually. It is often said that distance or absence makes the heart grow fonder; wait on your partner and commit to sustaining the relationship despite the miles separating you.
Loneliness
You will need to maintain a positive mindset knowing that you will eventually get to be with your soul mate. Being away from your partner for a long time can make you feel lonely. However, the anticipation of when you can spend time together can help you stay positive.
When To Call It Quits In A Long-Distance Relationship
You call it quits in a long-distance relationship when you feel like you can no longer be in a relationship with the person. It also applies to your partner; if they decide they don’t want to be with you anymore, you will have no option but to call it quits.
It takes two committed individuals for a long-distance relationship to work. Both of you must be fully invested and willing to put in the work to ensure it works out; if either of you is no longer willing to work on the relationship, it eventually has to end.
The need for you to be together will have to be stronger than the distance separating you or any challenge you face. If one of you loses interest and there is an absence of feelings, there will be no point in going on with the relationship. A relationship that is not working will only affect your life negatively.
Long-distance relationships are challenging due to the lack of emotional and physical connection and sometimes cause some people to stray from their relationships. For some people cheating and infidelity are deal breakers. If your partner cheats on you, or you feel an absence of trust that you cannot handle, then you can call it quits.
Despite your efforts at sustaining the relationship, there comes a time when you lose all connection to your partner. Distance makes physical intimacy hard, so you are left with an emotional bond that, at times, is also hard to maintain. When this happens, you will be forced to call it quits since nothing is holding you and your partner together.
Psychological Effects Of Long Distance Relationships
The psychological effects of long-distance relationships can affect your mental health.
Building a trusting relationship requires you and your partner to spend considerable time together physically and in person.
When you cannot spend time with your partner physically, and your emotional bond isn’t strong, you may start to mistrust them.
You might fear that you miss out on all the fun things they’re doing and start to feel insecure when they talk of other people they spend time with.
Suspicion and jealousy can lead to arguments with your partner; if you cannot be together physically, it is hard to make them feel safe and secure.
Misunderstandings can lead to stress and relationship anxiety, which can be hard to resolve when on your own.
Many individuals in relationships with partners in different places suffer from long-distance relationship depression. Sadness starts to creep into your life once the absence of your partner becomes a reality. Daily life stuff and chores become much more complicated because you can’t share them physically with your partner.
Being in a successful relationship means you become emotionally available to one another and offer each other a support system. Distance makes it harder to build an emotional connection. Your mental state is affected if you are not in a good space emotionally.
A relationship enables two people to fill each other up emotionally. This process has to be consistent; otherwise, the energy and feelings start to fizzle out. Eventually, you feel a sense of loss, emptiness, and pain.
Related Long Distance Relationship Questions
Why are long-distance relationships hard?
Long-distance relationships are hard because the lack of physical intimacy can lead to distrust. Both partners must work hard to communicate and make their partner feel safe, secure, and loved. In-person relationships are hard enough. Building an emotional connection with someone far away makes it even harder.
How long can a long-distance relationship last?
A long-distance can last as long as both parties are willing to see it through. If distance requires you to be separated for months or several years, it all comes down to how long you can keep the fire burning despite the miles between you. With patience, persistence, and perseverance, a long-distance relationship can last as long as you want.
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What are the red flags in a long-distance relationship?
Some red flags in a long-distance relationship are lack of or poor communication and your partner not showing interest or commitment to the relationship. You and your partner need to be on the same page regarding your future together. If there isn’t an indication from your partner regarding what the future holds for both of you, that’s also a red flag.
How do you maintain a long-distance relationship?
You maintain a long-distance relationship by ensuring you communicate as much as possible and remain consistent. Check in on each other and make plans for when you can visit each other in person. Plan your future together as a couple and have shared goals that lead you in the same direction.
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How do I know if my long-distance boyfriend is serious?
You will know if your long-distance boyfriend is serious by :
- His dedication to ensuring your relationship is stronger despite you being far away from each other.
- He creates time and makes an effort to communicate constantly.
- He hasn’t given you any reason to doubt or mistrust him.
- He makes plans to see you often.
- You meet his friends and family when you visit him.
- He discusses his plans for the future with you.
In conclusion, long-distance relationships are challenging. They require patience, dedication, and a willingness to compromise. But if you want to keep your relationship alive, you’ll have to put in the effort.
The first step is to communicate regularly. Make sure you connect with each other at least twice weekly via text message, email, or Facetime. This will help you stay connected and remind you who you’re missing.
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Next, you’ll need to spend quality time together. Don’t let your phone become your primary source of connection; instead, plan regular dates where you can share stories, laugh, and connect.
Finally, you’ll need to accept that you will sometimes have differing views on certain issues. In fact, you might disagree on almost anything. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t continue to love each other. Instead, you need to respect each other’s opinions and beliefs.
As long as you follow these three steps, you’ll be able to overcome these challenging aspects and maintain a strong connection with your significant other.