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Can A 14-Year-Old Date A 17-Year-Old?

While it may seem unsettling to consider your teen is in a romantic relationship, this is an essential aspect of the emotional development of any young adult.

The answer to the question “Can a 14-year-old date a 17-year-old” depends on the maturity of both teenagers and the nature of the relationship. Dating is perfectly legal, as long as there is no sexual activity involved.

Parents need to figure out how to talk to their teens about dating and establish safe dating rules for them.

To help you decide whether you should allow your 14-year-old to date a 17-year-old, and guide your teen through this new stage of life, I have compiled a comprehensive list of everything you need to know about teen dating.

Is It Legal For A 17-Year-Old To Date A 14-Year-Old

Regardless of age difference, dating is not illegal as long as there is no sexual activity involved.

A 17-year-old can date a younger teen as long as it does not include anything more than holding hands, going to movies, studying together at the coffee shop, or attending a school dance together.

While dating is legal as long as there is no sexual activity involved, ideally, both young men and women should have their parents’ approval of the relationship.

Parents still have the right to disapprove of friends they deem unsuitable and may enforce that decision through reasonable parental discipline.

Though it may not be illegal to date, there may be the temptation to engage in a sexual relationship, which could lead to statutory rape charges. Remember that sexual activity does not just include sexual intercourse but also sexting, sending nude photos, touching intimate body parts, as well as mutual masturbation.

The risk of your consensual relationship with a minor getting out of hand is very high for both teenagers.

  • There is a risk of grooming for 14-year-olds.
  • And 17-year-olds may be subject to revenge action, parental concern, and even child pornography charges.

Though not uncommon, it’s best to watch out for these types of relationships for the sake of everyone involved!

When Does It Become Illegal To Date A Minor?

When Does It Become Illegal To Date A Minor

Dating a minor under the age of consent without sexual contact is not illegal as long as the minor’s parents/guardians are OK with it. However, any sexual contact before the age of consent is unlawful, even if it is consensual.

According to US law, the  Age of Consent is when an individual is considered mature enough to consent to sexual activity. The age of consent laws are different by state, and the age of consent varies from 16 to 18 years. The law considers sexual relations between persons under the Age of Consent to be statutory rape, even (in some jurisdictions) when both partners are minors.

The law also stipulates an acceptable age differential between individuals over the age of consent – see below:

Age of Consent By State

StateAge of ConsentAcceptable Differences Between Ages
New Hampshire160
New Jersey164
New Mexico164
New York170
North Carolina164
North Dakota180
Rhode Island160
South Carolina160
South Dakota163
West Virginia164
District of Columbia164


If you’re dating a person under the age of consent, then you should be informed about what is considered sexual relations.

Any form of sexual activity with a person who cannot give legal consent, including sexting, sending nude photos, touching intimate body parts, mutual masturbation, as well as penetrative sex, is considered illegal.

In the case of sexually suggestive photos of anyone under 18 taken and/or shared, even if the individual is over the consent age, federal laws concerning production, distribution, and possession of Child Pornography apply.

The Importance Of Parental Guidance

Your teenager has begun dating, and you don’t know where to draw the line as a parent, and getting involved can be difficult. Both you and your teen will have difficulty adjusting to the teen years. Their skyrocketing hormone levels will cause you to experience your fair share of conflict.

However, remember that it is important to educate your teen about modern teen dating, communicate openly about uncomfortable topics like sex, and set boundaries for them to have a positive, safe dating experience.

Apart from the basic rules, make sure your teen understands the cellphone guidelines and how to follow them. Talk to them about sexting and other technology dangers. Teens are sometimes tempted to send nude photos when a date requests them. They must understand that anything they post on the internet lasts forever, and sending a nude photo can easily backfire and be shared publicly.

Most importantly, let them know they can rely on you in the future for dating and relationship advice instead of leaning on friends or social media.

I’ve shared a couple of books that are helpful for teens and parents when it comes to teen dating.

The 10 Myths of Teen Dating – Daniel Anderson
The 10 Myths of Teen Dating: Truths Your Daughter Needs to Know to Date Smart, Avoid Disaster, and Protect Her Future
Dad’s Great Advice for Teens – Marc Fienberg
Dad's Great Advice for Teens: Stuff Every Teen Needs to Know About Parents, Friends, Social Media, Drinking, Dating, Relationships, and Finding Happiness

Would You Let Your 14-Year-Old Daughter Date A 17-Year-Old Boy?

Whether or not you feel comfortable allowing your 14-year-old daughter to date a 17-year-old boy will depend on their maturity and personality and the moral sensibility of the boy.

14-year-old girls are about the same as 17-year-old boys in terms of maturity, so there’s nothing unusual about that.

Dating a fourteen-year-old girl can be perfectly innocent; however, it will definitely depend on the boy.

Even so, there can be a disparity between a teen’s worldliness and a 14-year-old who might be quite naive about relationships and potential sexual encounters.

The main reason is power dynamics in the relationship. Young girls are susceptible to being influenced by older boys, and they may do things they wouldn’t otherwise do.

Therefore, we should pay attention to the way they interact. If he is an innocent seventeen-year-old, and she is relatively assertive and confident, there should not be an issue. However, when she is not very self-assured, and he has a strong, dominant personality, there may be reasons to be concerned.

The dating age rule is an interesting equation that calculates partners’ socially acceptable age difference.

You divide the older person’s age by two and add 7. In this case (17/2) + 7 = 15.5.

According to this general dating age rule, a 17-year-old should not date anyone younger than 15 ½ years of age.

What Do Parents Need To Know About Teen Dating?

What Do Parents Need To Know About Teen Dating

Teen dating is very different from what it was many years ago. It is crucial to reevaluate your idea of dating.

With the introduction of social media, the dating world can be more exciting but also more complicated and challenging.

Talk to your child and observe how they react to the topic. You can explain what you consider acceptable and appropriate behavior, your curfew, and how your child should check in with you while out.

Establish clear guidelines while taking into account their maturity and sense of responsibility.

Educate yourself about the stages of dating and discuss appropriate age-related dates with your teen.

Encourage group dates and talk to your teen frequently. Here are some fun first-date ideas to discuss with your teen.

Parents will also need to talk about consent and discuss the dangers of social media usage.

You might also prepare yourself to help your child through their first breakup.

When To Let Your Teenager Start Dating?

When To Let Your Teenager Start Dating

It’s normal and healthy to have romantic interests during adolescence, although some teens date earlier than others.

There are several stages of teenage dating. When they begin dating, you need to be proactive and prepared by setting expectations discussing these topics in a caring and supportive manner.

By understanding teen dating and talking to your teen regularly, you will help them move through these exciting, confusing, and sometimes challenging times.

You should consider your child as an individual. Take into account their maturity and sense of responsibility.

In many cases, 16 seems to be an appropriate age for kids, but it may be perfectly fine for a mature 15-year-old to go on a date or to have a 16-year-old wait a year or two.

Watch Teen Kids News on “What’s the Right Age for Teens to Start Dating?” below:

Summary On Teen Dating

Getting into the dating world can be both exciting and scary for kids and their parents, just as it is for any new phase in life.

But you should also recognize that your teen’s first dating experience is their opportunity to develop life skills.

Based on what they’ve seen online, in movies, or books, your teen may have some unrealistic ideas about dating. They may make mistakes and get hurt during this process, but they will also learn from their experiences.

Explain to your children what early dating might be like for them. Rather than assuming they’ve learned what they need from sex ed, movies, and their friends, explain everything you think they need to know.

It’s best if you can be open and supportive with them. Keeping your child safe and helping them develop the skills they need to navigate healthy relationships are the most important things you can do as a parent.

Ultimately, if something goes wrong, you want to make sure they know that you’re always there for them.