Skip to Content

What Is Your Teen Really Thinking? Ask Them These Questions

The teenage years are when kids tend to withdraw from parents on one hand, but it is also the time when they become outspoken and opinionated.

They might spend hours in their room and you might really struggle to get your teen out of their room.

You’re probably often wondering and asking yourself what your teen is really thinking.

One way of overcoming some of the challenges of raising a teenager is to remain involved in their lives.

Remember to really listen to your teen, show interest in their lives, and address the concerns they or you may have.

what your teen is really thinking

Remember, your goal is to think of conversation topics that go past the standard “how was your day?”

The questions you ask and the words you use should show them that you care about them and their life experience.

Sometimes the questions you ask should be context-specific, meaning that you can only really ask them after your teen has raised a specific topic.

Below are a few “ice breaker” questions to ask your teen to help you find out what they might be thinking.

  1. If you could choose anything, what activity would you most like to enjoy with me?
  2. If you had any amount of money, how would you spend it?
  3. What was the best part of your day, the worst part of your day, and why?
  4. Do you think you’ll have kids one day, and how will you parent them?
  5. What do you like most about yourself?
  6. What do you like about your friends? (or ask about a specific friend)
  7. What are your dreams for how your life will turn out one day?
  8. Is there anything bothering you at the moment, and is there anything I can do to help?
  9. What was the funniest thing that you saw at school today?
  10. What do you think about your friends’ parents and how they parent their teens?
  11. If you could ask me anything about myself, what is the one thing you’d want to know?
  12. What are your favorite holidays and why?
  13. Do you ever feel jealous of someone, and what makes you feel jealous about them?
  14. If there is one thing about our home you could fix or improve, what would it be?
  15. What do you think adults don’t understand about teens?
  16. What is the most fun thing you have ever done?
  17. What is the most challenging thing you have ever done?
  18. What is your favorite song right now?
  19. What is your favorite memory from when you were younger?
  20. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would that be?
  21. If you could change one thing about school, what would that be?
  22. What item is at the top of your bucket list?
  23. Tell me what your perfect day looks like
  24. What is your greatest fear?
  25. Tell me your favorite joke or meme

Watch the video below that shows teens opening up about thoughts and feelings they have and discuss openly when asked.

Key Takeaways:

  • Teens may seem to be a lot quieter than usual, however, if they are given the opportunity they will speak their mind.
  • Try to work with your teen to come up with compromises when you argue too much. Let them know you feel like both of you could benefit from calmer communication.
  • Find out what they’re struggling with and see if there are ways that you could help or be there for them.
  • Try to find ways to get on the same page and work towards common goals together.
  • Find ways to spend quality time together doing things they enjoy.
  • Be open and honest about your feelings and speak to them like you would an adult rather than a child.
  • Asking questions allows you to understand their feeling and emotions and get an insight into what they’re really thinking and needing from you right now.

You might also like to read: What Does Your Teenager Need From You Now?